7 Reasons NOT to Move to Denver, Colorado

That’s right! In case you don’t read or watch the news, Colorado was officially one of the nation’s most popular cities in America last year. More than 100,000 people moved to Colorado making us the number 2 state in the country for inbound migration. (Gee what was number one?)

Denver benefitted (or suffered depending on your viewpoint) better than anyone else in the 24-36-year-old category. More young people moving to Denver than any other city in the United States. We wonder why?

Reason #1 Marijuana Tourists.

The only thing worse than tourists is a HIGH tourist. Now they walk around aimlessly searching for something sweet to eat and cold to drink. And you thought micro breweries were popular? Check out South Broadway anytime.

Reason #2 Working Out.

Denver is constantly ranked as one of the “fittest” cities in the country. If you move here you will have to workout AND do Yoga at Red Rocks on Sundays. No kidding.

Reason #3 There’s No More Gold.

All the gold has been had! That’s right, all the Weather Channel Prospecting reality TV shows are fake. No one is discovering half million dollar pockets of anything but empty. I mean come on, what did you really think.

Reason #4 Baking Fails.

The high altitude makes baking grandma’s scratch apple pie virtually impossible. After many failed attempts most bakers give up.

Reason #5 Rocky Mountain Oysters.

There are few places so synonymous with eating of testicles as Denver. Fried calves balls are served up at many local eateries, and even at Coors Field.

Want things to do? Simply pick up the Denver Post, Westword Magazine, 5280 Magazine or any other media source and you will literally find dozens of things to see and do on any given day. Don’t believe us? Oder your snail mail magazine and find out.

Reason #6 You’ll have to buy a bike.

Denver has more than 850 miles of paved and off-road trails to bike on. That means you can travel really far from your house before your calves cramp up and have to call someone for a ride.

Beautiful vistas – From City Park to the Front Range of Colorado. Want to live here?

Reason #7 Denver’s 300 days of sunshine is a lie.

Denver enjoys clear skies for the most part, and far more than other hip cities like New York, Seattle, and San Francisco. However, it does not have the 300 days of sunshine like most people brag about. According to Denver Westword, the city actually enjoys around 115 clear days, 130 partly cloudy days, and 120 cloudy days. That’s still a lot vitamin D to be had, but it makes you wonder what else Denver lies about?